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E as in Egoism


Egoism, not egotism, is an idea that I tend to favor, which is not to say it is true. I cannot say what is true; I have studied too much philosophy and now endure a paralysis of commitment to most everything. In any case, I apply egoism to many a passing thought about my motivations and the motivations of others.

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Existence ought not to be confused with consciousness.  That rock over yonder existeth, yet it doth not thinketh; thus, it is not conscious.  Therefore, ergo cogito sum does not apply here because existence is what I intend to explore in this jotting down of thoughts, not consciousness.

This morning, while driving to work, I found myself concluding that the essence of existence is the will to live.  My examples of evidence were the zillions of slivers of grass flanking the roadway, each stretching upward towards the sunlight and downward towards the dampness in the soil.  Each blessed blade, I argued with myself, exists because the will to live is inside it.  Naturally, my inner skeptic (another interior-dwelling will) was careful to obstruct me from attributing any supernatural elements to this will to live by saying: “the ubiquitous will to live is no more than chemical reactions, and in this case it is photosynthesis, my dear, photosynthesis!” Even so, I thought, the result of all those chemical reactions is life, a push for existence.  Clearly, each living thing seems to have an inner push and wants to live.

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